What is so special about me? Everyone else does it, why can’t I? If you are a parent, or have been around kids for any length of time, chances are you have heard some of these inquiries coming from a child. Conformity seems to be a big part of growing up, no matter what generation you are from. “What is so special about me” is a wonder that burns inside every child. It is a question we need to help them answer.
Growing up, Star Wars was a big part of my life. If it was related to Star Wars in any way, I probably had it. Yet, the only way to enjoy that amazing galaxy (aside from a few comics and books) was through the movies. As I have grown, so too has the Star Wars universe. With books, comics, new movies, and even new animated series, that galaxy has become immense.
One of my great joys as a father when my children were young was sitting each week with them, watching the Clone Wars (and yes, I am so excited more episodes are coming). It was something special we looked forward to. As I sat in my chair, usually with at least one kid in my lap, we were transported to a new world, full of wondrous stories.
Each Friday, in every episode, was a wonderful nugget of truth. As I thought back over the series, I was reminded of one of my favorite Clone Wars moments. During the first season, one of the early episodes dealt with an issue that most kids today face – that of conformity.
In “Ambush”, Yoda was on his way to meet with the Trydarian ruler. While in route, he and his team were ambushed and he had to fight his way to the meeting. After the initial battles, Yoda and his team of clone troopers took refuge in a cave. Grossly outnumbered and low on supplies, there was little for them to do except rest and regroup, which Yoda used to give his men a wonderful lesson:
I love this scene for the simple fact that Yoda does not take these individuals for granted. On the surface, to the causal observer, there was nothing special about the clones. They were simply copies of one another. They were all the same. Yet to Yoda, each was unique.
In today’s society, with today’s children, many times I see this same issue. So much of the culture surrounding our children is wrapped up in them “fitting in” and being like everyone else. Now, yes, I know that every generation seems to face this same problem, but it seems to me that this has grown in recent years. Many of the students I see walk in my office, talk about how they want to fit in and be like everyone else.
Finding a place to fit in and build relationships with others is certainly important, but at what cost? Should children sacrifice who they are to be like everyone else, just to fit in? When I see students focused on this, it is usually because they are looking for acceptance and love. To get this, they will forfeit who they are so that they can be “just like everyone else”. To many children, conforming, becomes the most important thing in life, and when this happens, they lose themselves.
In this episode, Yoda took time to show the troopers that they were not like every other clone, but that they were special. They might all look the same, but they were very different, and in that difference, was their strength.
When I look at my two children, and at the students I work with each day, I am reminded of this lesson from Yoda. There are such wonderful sparks of strength in each child, just waiting for someone to fan it into a flame. Each one is created special. I am realizing that part of my job as a parent and a teacher is to help each child see this, to help these little younglings relish in the differences and use those differences to accomplish great things.
We need to help them see the strength in their individuality, help them see the beauty of their uniqueness, and help them understand how it is important to who they are as a person. Each child was created special, with unique talents and interests. As those traits are nurtured, it will help them grow into the special person they should be, and help them fulfill the mission for which they were created.
Each person is special, and that should never be overlooked by others or sacrificed to be just like everyone else. Every child needs to be loved and accepted for who they are, and as adults, we need to help them find this balance. So how do we do this? How can we help our little padawans to be the unique people they should be? How can we fan the flame of who they are?
With my own children, I have loved and encouraged them. I have talked to them about those special gifts. I have tried to provide opportunities for them to build and strengthen those natural gifts, and I have helped them see that we are all created different. And not only is that okay, it is beautiful.
I am sure many of you have helped the children in your life find this acceptance. You have help these little ones grow in the gifts, talents, and personality that make them special. It is important that we help each child find love and acceptance, and show them that they do not have to be a slave of conformity. As Yoda said, “…in the force, very different, each one of you are.” The question is, how can we help each child, and sometimes ourselves, realize this truth?
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